And So It Goes

You might think that given the results of this election night I am going to let loose with a rant about conservatives and Republicans retaking the first branch of government. You would be wrong. There's not much to say that hasn't already been said on these pages regarding how I feel about most Republican policies and the impact they have on our society, no sense beating a dead elephant.

I'm a firm believer in fighting for what you believe in, for casting your vote based on those beliefs, and then in accepting the results however they end up. The thing about democracy is that the people get to speak, and apparently they have spoken and the message has been received. Yet I take heart in this simple fact, that in politics as in life, things don't remain static.

Two years ago liberals like myself were fired up in anticipation of a new era, and we envisioned policies being implemented that were in accord with our values. I imagine that conservatives must feel that way now, hopeful that the policies they support will win the day now that their party is back in power. But as surely as time moves forward, as certainly as every moment brings us change, even in their triumph the seeds of their demise are being sown.

With very little doubt I can predict that the Republicans elected tonight will not fail to disappoint the partisans on the right, and two years from now when it matters more many who are fired up now will be as disappointed and disillusioned as those on the left are now. For this simple reason, it seems highly improbable if not impossible that one of the two parties as they are currently constituted will ever hold power for long, and given the state of each I can't see that as a bad thing altogether.

The bigger question for me is how long it will take my fellow Americans to shed once and for all the illusion of choice that is presented us, and demand a true choice, not to mention campaigns that focus on issues that actually impact our lives. Perhaps soon, perhaps not, but so long as we have an electoral system and a republican democracy, there is at least in theory a chance that we the people will see reason triumph.

In the meantime, I'll get up and go to work in the morning, I'll still come home to a wonderful family, I'll still enjoy the beauty of a desert sunset at the end of it all, I'll still sleep in the comfort of a warm bed with a roof over my head and food on the table, and kids who are healthy and happy, and take solace in the knowledge that the woman I have loved for 20 years is still willing to put up with me. I'll still root for the Raiders on Sunday, and hold out hope that next year will be the year for the Dodgers. I'll still have cold Guiness in the fridge and a good bottle of vodka in the freezer, I'll continue to read great literature and listen to great music. In short, no matter who controls what political structures, life goes on, what goes up comes down, what once was no longer is but often becomes again. And so it goes.

Truth and Beauty

She wanted me to write something happy, so this one's for you mamacita!

Since the beginning of humanity, we have been on an eternal quest, a search for truth and beauty in the world. From a Western perspective it all got started with the ancient Greek poets, and has carried down from that day to this. It is ultimately, if indeed there is an ultimate purpose, our raison d'etre, the driving force that maintains our existence and keeps us moving forward. Whether you subscribe to the Western perspective of linear progression toward a desired point or the Eastern idea of circular progression towards the center of it all, the goal remains the same, to find out what is at the heart of the matter, what it is that we are all doing here.

Truth and beauty, like all things worthy of pursuit, is a subjective matter that lies in the soul of the beholder, which is perhaps best exemplified by that wise sage Oscar the Grouch, who finds beauty in his trash can, a place most others would avoid. And while there are those who arrogantly profess certainty about life, whether it be through a certain religious doctrine or political ideology, those who know better understand that indeed there may be no such thing as universal truth or an accepted standard of beauty. Or maybe there is, how can we ever really know? I think that there are many paths to the same road, and I'm just trying to make sure I'm on one of them.

I find the pursuit to be one worthy of my time and energy in a way that most things can never be. I can know all of the events of the day and have opinions about the president and the political system and the society that we live in, and all of those are fine past times, but at the end of it all what is the real value? Most of what we focus on is temporary, tastes and ideals change with the long steady wind of history, what we find politically and socially palpable today isn't what it was yesterday and will be something else tomorrow, mere fads, trends and stages that we enter in and out of. What I'm talking about is the more permanent ideas and values, the stuff that goes well beyond scratching the surface and penetrates deep inside of us.

Beauty is everywhere if you only can open your eyes, hearts, and most of all your soul and be willing to accept it, often in places where you might least expect it, or sometimes in places where you do expect it but not in the way that it materializes. I find beauty in the natural world, which is something about the desert that I will always appreciate and which ultimately trumps the absurdity of so much that goes on in my beloved adopted state of Arizona, or for that matter in my much loved country. The way the wind makes the upper branches of a palo verde tree dance, or the late afternoon light and the depth it gives to the surrounding landscape, the sound of the birds at feeding time in the early morning, or the way that three birds fly overhead in perfect formation and harmony.

I find beauty in the people that I am blessed to have in my life, the way I'll catch my son smiling at a show we are watching at a certain time, or knowing that when I look over at my wife at a particular moment during a movie what emotion she will be expressing. Listening to my daughter upstairs working on her latest song, muting the TV and just taking in every drop of her sweet sultry voice that I can. Yet beauty can also show up in the kind words of a friend, or even the friendly smile and passing greeting of a perfect stranger.

I find truth in what is real, honest, often raw but always genuine. The smile of a little kid is truth, there is no false pretense, no manipulation, just the true emotion of the moment. Truth the first time I set eyes on the love of my life, almost 20 years ago now, the penetration of her deep blue eyes and the sweetness of her smile across a crowded room is a moment in time that will always be in my soul, long after the temporal world and my time in it has come and gone. The moment that I saw both of my children enter the world, starting with the first sighting of the crown of my son's head to the final delivery a couple years later of my daughter, hearing the confirmation from the doctor that I had a girl as I saw her completely and instantly fell in the type of love that can only stem from beauty and an eternal truth in this world. There is truth in the random acts of kindness that people commit everyday, helping out a person in need, or even the simple acknowledgment of a person on the streets who looks to be down on their luck.

While it would take a much better writer than me to ever fully sum up what truth and beauty are, I hope that I, like so many of the giants whose shoulders I attempt to stand on, will be able to contribute at least a bit part to the great quest. It is a quest that never ends, because just as one can never read all the great books, or listen to all the great music, or take in all the great drama and comedy in a lifetime, one can never become satiated on truth and beauty. I'm reminded of the cybex machine that I used in high school when I was rehabbing my knee from a football injury, it was set up so that the harder I pushed the more resistance it gave, which allowed my knee to get stronger. Beauty and truth are like that in that the more you take in the more you find that you are able to contain, and the more that you search the more you find is out there to be sought, which only allows the quest to continue and expand. In this case it is the soul that becomes stronger. It is a quest that I hope to continue until the final day, the final moment, and if I can manage that then what I hope to be my final words one day will ring true, "I've lived a good life, and that's enough for me."

Ramble On

Permit me a few ramblings and musings, as I've got a few weeks worth of stuff crammed in my head (I really need to get serious and start keeping notebooks full of material) since the last time I've been on to write.

Only in Arizona. AZ is one F'd up state, in fact it should get a new abbreviation, FUAZ. Don't get me wrong, I love my adopted home state, and especially in another month or two when the heat finally breaks it's a pretty decent place to live. I love the desert and its natural wonder beauty. There are plenty of good decent folks that live here, despite what an outsider would understandably think about the place. I'm sure if I still lived in the golden state I'd have that air of superiority about Arizona and believe that it's a state full of gun-toting, Mexican-deporting, Fox News-watching cowboys, rednecks, and gun freaks. Well, I'm not gonna lie, it is all that (and more) but we're not all ass-backward Whiteys trying to protect our diminishing slice of the real American dream; being in the majority and imposing our values and desires on those who weren't so lucky to be born with fair skin and male sex organs.

But Arizona is becoming a more diverse and colorful place, at least in the big city. This is what I think makes so many White Arizonans cringe, they don't want to give up their share of the pie, and someone with a little extra pigmentation and the nerve to speak English with an accent, or heaven forbid actually speak another language aren't generally looked on too kindly. In Arizona we like to protect our borders, gotta keep them durn terrorists out of our back yard, it's all about security you know. We like Mexicans so long as they are mowing our yards, washing our cars, or making good carne asada. But if you ain't got papers boy, better get back down South, this here is a good law abiding nation, can't have people flaunt our laws. Just like starting in the spring of 2003 the American public all of a sudden gave a shiite about the freedom of ordinary Iraqi's, now we are all for law and order and keeping out the terrorists from crossing over our southern border. Never mind the fact that our borders have been porous forever and there have been no known sleeper cells coming up from the south, when did the good hard working White folk of America ever let the facts get in the way of a good story.

Lest you think all that occupies my mind is the serious stuff, let's get to our national pastime (after deporting Mexicans) of pro football. Big Ben Rothlisberger, for those of you who don't follow the national pastime is the quarterback of the much loved Pittsburgh Steelers and oh yeah, a rapist, and wait, is also apparently a reformed man. Must be true because that's what Steeler fans seem to think, and who is more morally superior than Steeler fans, they stand for everything that is right in the world, unlike us Raider fans who root for a bunch of thugs and derelicts. Except last I checked the Silver and Black didn't have any rapists on the roster, but again, why ruin that good story.

The NFL obsessed public (which includes yours truly)seems to have decided that he's suffered enough and will, I predict, welcome Big Ben back with open arms when he returns from suspension after a few games, nothing more than a bitch-slap on the wrist. Needless to say I won't be one of those rooting for the guy, in fact I wouldn't hold it against a defensive lineman who loves his own daughter the way I do from going after dude's knees, not that I would root for that but I wouldn't shed a tear either. Michael Vick was crucified, and rightfully so, for his role in dog-fighting. He will never be welcomed back into the graces of the mainstream sports fan nation. Big Ben just got a tsk tsk and well, he's young and boys will be boys. Oh yeah, in case you didn't know, Vick is Black, Ben is White, not that that has anything to do with it of course.

A few last ramblings before I depart. Tiger Woods' divorce is final, I'm thinking we can let the guy off the hook now, he screwed up, got caught, served a pretty good penance, will likely never regain the pre-SUV golf club status he enjoyed, but I think he's suffered enough. I still like Mickelson better, he's always been my guy because in addition to loving his style of play and his man of the people persona, he's a fellow Sun Devil (even matriculated at the same time as me) and with his football gambling and weight fluctuations a fellow a guy can relate to. But I'm gonna start rooting for Tiger again.

John McCain beat this completely conservative jackass named Hayworth or Hayword (I can never remember) which proves two things. One is that AZ ain't so redneck as you might think. The second is that what the hell difference do elections really make, because McCain, at least the post-Palin version is pretty much of a joke, but that's the choice you get living here.

And lastly, someone will have to tell me how the big Glenn Beck rally went today. Nice that he decided to honor MLK by having it on the same day as King's famous speech, what a swell guy he must be, I have to assume this because I've never actually seen or heard his show. I'll bet his God fearing tea drinking crowd are pretty well versed in their civil rights history too, as I'm sure the token Blacks in the crowd will attest to. Stay brave and free Mr. Beck, America needs more people like you. Who else would Stewart and Colbert have to lampoon if you, Rush, and Bill went away. Long Live the Republic!

The Human Journey

People tend to focus on the things that separate us. What separates us from the animals, or what separates Americans from Mexicans, men from women, old from young, rich from poor. It seems to be a part of our nature as humans to define ourselves by distinguishing features. I am many things, and I can use descriptors like male, White, American, middle-aged, middle-class, and so on. Yet at the heart of it, I never forget that I am and have been a living being above all else, it's the one description that has been true from the first moment and will be until the last.

Don't get me wrong, I find differences fascinating, and one of the most dubious claims I hear is people that say they don't notice those differences, as in "oh I don't see race". Of course you do, the first thing we notice are the external features of someone, whether they are male or female, old, young, or somewhere in the middle, their physical build, the color of their hair, and certainly their race and ethnicity as best we can determine it. Differences in appearance and attitude make the world go round, life would be quite boring if we all looked, felt, and acted the same. But underneath it all we are of the same piece and on the same journey.

Each of us has his or her own story, and that personal narrative is but a tiny piece in the larger mosaic that makes up the world, or at least the small part of the world that we are able to comprehend and describe. I suppose there is a central paradox at work, that no matter how small our presence in the vast universe we yet have some sort of impact on the overall shape of it, but at the same time it goes on its course regardless of how we behave or what we think. Events and places and people that we have no knowledge of have no meaning to us, but that doesn't prevent them from having their own meaning, just as our own lives, while full of importance to us are as yet of no relevance to those who have no knowledge of us.

Especially in our modern society, we tend to get caught up in material aspects of life, in appearances, in what separates us from others. We often become obsessed with the future or fixated on something from the past, and perhaps forget to live in the moments of the present. We always want what is just outside of our grasp and often fail to appreciate what we have within our reach. We want answers and explanations, and we fool ourselves into believing that we as humans have advanced to the point where we can grasp those answers. Maybe we should spend more time asking questions and less time worrying about conclusions, more time enjoying the present and less time worrying about what's to come, or what we could have done differently. Perhaps wherever we are on the journey is exactly where we are supposed to be, and no matter how hard we try, we have no of knowing what will come next.

It takes a great leap of faith to accept where you are in life, and it almost requires a renunciation of ego and arrogance to recognize that at the heart of it, we are not really so different from one another, or for that matter even from the animals. From the earliest times of the historic era humans have put themselves on a pedestal, the ancient Greeks proclaimed how great are the wonders of man. And the next logical step was to categorize man, to divide into groups and to proclaim that this group is better than another. Whether based on gender, ethnicity, language, age, nationality, religion or other differences, we seem to never be at a loss to rank ourselves, and we are pretty generous when it comes to ranking our own groups and much less so when it comes to others. We then perceive the world around us in a way that allows us to highlight those actions and beliefs that prove our preconceived notions, or prejudices, and ignore or mitigate those factors that would disprove our theories. I wonder how our lives and the world at large would be different if we were able to become truly enlightened and were able to let go of many of our accepted notions and see the world on a more visceral level, the way that I for one think our creator intended us to see.

Obama and the Wimp Factor

Back in 1988 in the run-up to the election, Newsweek (or perhaps Time) ran a famous headline with a cover photo of George Bush that questioned whether he was tough enough and up for the job of president. As it turned out, Bush was no wimp, and in hindsight his presidency was adequate. You can never know how someone will perform as president until they get the job, there really is nothing that serves as a good tell in this regard as the job is so unique. All you can do is pick your horse and hope for the best, and judgments generally have to be reserved for after the race has been run for a bit.

Two years into the Obama era, and what has really been accomplished? Now before you start with the "did you really think things would change" and "you've got to give the guy time" responses, I will answer that yes I did think things would change or I wouldn't have bothered to vote for the guy, and if two years isn't enough time then what is? I'm not so naive as to think that things would happen overnight, and as a political science major and a longtime observer of politics, I am fully aware of the limited nature of the presidency. That said, Obama's first (and quite possibly only) term in office has been nothing short of disappointing.

I think that Barrack Obama is a swell guy, he seems to be a decent person, intelligent, and has the nation's best interest at heart. But to be honest, I always felt the same way about George W. Bush, as much as I disagreed strongly with his politics and most of his policies. Bush is a decent guy it seems, unlike many liberals I never doubted his intelligence, he may not be an intellectual but he was smart enough to get elected president twice (yes liberals, he won the 2000 election so quit crying already and let it go). And I have no doubt that in his heart he was doing what he thought was best for the country, even though it didn't or hasn't worked out that way so far. At least you can say this for old W, when he made up his mind he went all in, the guy sold his policies and didn't waver or defer to Congress, and he sure as hell didn't worry about pleasing liberals.

Obama came into office in a conciliatory manner, from inviting a bigoted homophobe to lead the prayers at the innauguration, to deferring to Congress on financial reform and then health care reform, and he still seems more bent on winning over right-wing conservatives than on pushing hard for policies that the liberals and progressives who put him into office expected when we cast our votes. The conservatives got their policies in for 8 years, their guy won and then he won again. But the voters spoke loud and clearly in 2008, and people like myself who not only voted but actually got fired up expected that it would be our turn to try our policies. What have we got in return for our support? Watered down reform bills that reek of Congressional weakness, a continuation of wars that most of us are opposed to, and as yet absolutely nada on energy policy, immigration reform, or education.

I told myself that despite my better instincts, I would give this whole electoral politics thing one last shot in '08 and vote for Obama, with the hope that my vote and having a president who I agreed with on most issues would make a positive difference for the country that I love. But if it turned out to be a mirage, then I was done with it all, that it really is a rigged game and you can deal me out. Granted that we are only two years into a four year term, and if our president decides to get tough and lead rather than continue to play both sides of the fence, my mind can be changed. But I won't be holding my breath in anticipation, and I don't expect to ask to be dealt back into the game anytime soon.

The Guns of August

The title of this column is a reference to the beginning of The Great War, later renamed the First World War, it's also the title of a classic book on the war that is on my to-read list by Barbara Tuchman. Ninety-six years ago now, 1914 is a watershed year in human history, a dividing point between the old world and the modern world of industrial might and the ability of mankind to wage total warfare. Like pretty near all wars, it seemed like a good idea at the time and was easily justified by the powers that be and accepted by the general populations that would have to suffer the actual fighting. Like most wars, it was expected to be a quick and decisive show, people thought it would be over by Christmas. And like most wars, it morphed into something seemingly unimaginable at its commencement, something that no contingency plans could account for.

Nearly a century later, the war to end all wars hasn't lived up to its moniker, and it took an even more deadly conflagration a couple decades after to begin to validate the premise that American got into on, namely to make the world safe for democracy. We are still fighting wars, ostensibly to make the world a safer and more democratic place, and the jury is still out on how the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, assuming they ever come to some conclusion, will impact the goals for which they are being fought.

I suppose that fighting and conflict is in our nature, and by that I refer not just to Americans, but to humanity in general. The original work of literature in Western Civilization is also the original war story, the tale of the semi-legendary Trojan War as told in Homer's Iliad. The second leg in the trilogy of Western literature is the Bible, and it is certainly full of ancient battles and the fight of good versus evil. So perhaps it is too much to expect of humankind that we will ever end all wars. But couldn't we have learned by now to be a bit more discerning in the fights we choose to take on and support?

Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying that there has never been a good war or a bad peace. I find it striking that those who are the most vehement against war are those who have experienced it first-hand, and conversely many who are the most supportive are those without such experience. I also find it fascinating that the men who fought in what I would consider to be history's one shining example of a necessary war, the Second World War, didn't think about grand causes such as ridding the world of tyranny or ending the Holocaust as much as they were motivated to fight for the guy next to them, and to do what they had to do to get through it and catch that big boat home. Both my late father-in-law and my late grandfather fought in WWII, but neither talked much about it, and when they did there was no sense of heroism or bravado in their stories.

I wonder how the men and women fighting in the Middle East and Central Asia today will regard their experiences whenever it is that they finally get the opportunity to come home and reflect. I hope they don't become as adversely affected as the generation of Vietnam Veterans, but I fear that it is impossible to reconcile the things you are expected to do in war with civilian life, and that the memories one must have from such an experience can't be avoided. You hear stories about soldiers coming home who nonetheless want to get back to the fight. I don't think it's because they love being in war as much as the desire to be back with their comrades, and to do whatever they have to do for as long as they have to do it in order to get the job done. The problem is that it is getting increasingly opaque as to what that job is. Perhaps in another ninety-six years we'll have figured out a way to exist peacefully, I realize that the odds and the lessons of history say otherwise, but one can certainly hope.

America the Beautiful

I recently wrote and posted a column challenging the notion that democracy is all it's cracked up to be. That doesn't mean I am anti-democracatic, I would still prefer a system with at least some semblance of popular sovereignty than one without, but there are other systems that could work as well.

A limited constitutional monarchy, such as Britain operated under for centuries doesn't seem like such a bad idea, and traditional societies such as the Ibo of West Africa operated quite well under a system without a leader at all, that is until the British came and imposed their system. Ancient Greece is considered the birthplace of democracy, but it was limited mostly to one city-state, Athens, and even that was limited to white, male citizens with property. Ancient Rome was a republic that became in effect a dictatorship, yet the Roman Empire thrived under that system for a couple of centuries in its heyday. China seems to be doing pretty well under a communist/capitalist hybrid, and India has a very messy and corrupt democracy, and might have been better off had Nehru been appointed sovereign for life, and then been able to turn the ship over to his daughter Indira Gandhi.

The point is, there are many ways to skin a cat, or to rule over a people, and there are numerous factors to consider. Democracy is one option, probably the best idea yet tried, but it's not the only way to do it.

One reaction I got to the posting was typical in that it was a defensive reaction, as if I was attacking America itself, which I suppose prompted me to write this column. I think America is a great place to live, and that my country has done much good over it's history. Yet, our nation is also with many faults, and much of the criticism that we receive around the world and from within is quite justified. So why is it that anything that challenges the status quo is automatically considered to be an attack? Why do many Americans feel threatened by other cultures and other systems? Why do many Americans feel it is their patriotic duty to tear down religions that differ from that of the Christianity of most, or to assume that anyone who doesn't buy into the company line is subversive? I don't have the answers to these questions necessarily, but I think that they are interesting to pose and consider.

I didn't choose to be an American, any more than I chose to have brown eyes or a big ass, it just happened. I'm glad it did, I feel fortunate to live somewhere where I can pursue my options and live a lifestyle that is the envy of much of the world, especially the developing world. But I can't help but think that if I had been born say, a Bangladeshi, I would love my country too and consider myself fortunate to have the life I have.

It's easy to generalize about America and its people, but how accurate is it to make broad statements about a diverse nation of over 300 million people? Living in Arizona I am particularly and acutely aware of the dangers of over-generalizations. People outside of the Grand Canyon, or Cactus State (yes we have two nicknames) often view the state as a bunch of conservative and dim-witted rednecks, and honestly they aren't wrong. Yet there are also many intelligent and thoughtful people who live in this state, people who think as progressively as any East Coast liberal, and who oppose dumb ideas, like the immigration bill that is currently in the national, and international news.

So how do you define a single state, or city, let alone an entire nation? Quite simply you really can't, not with much accuracy anyways, and I have to think that the same holds true of other countries. Yet we often do just that, and we like to draw relatively simple conclusions about complex issues, we like to label things that often defy such easy explanation, we ignore subtle variations and lump people and places together.

I propose that happiness and greatness, however they are defined, are much less reliant on political systems and the parties that control them, and much more dependent on other factors. Personally, I think that the personal relationships in one's life make all the difference. I would rather live in primitive conditions in the mountains of Tibet or in a rural village in Mexico with my family and the people that I love and cherish, than to live in luxury in America or anyplace else without those people and the richness they bring to my life. I'm glad that I can have it both ways of course, that I can live in a land of plenty. But I still reserve the right to call things as I see them, to criticize or praise as I see fit, and the irony in many of those who are threatened by anything remotely anti-American is sadly, lost on most of those who consider themselves to be patriotic simply because they wave the flag or put a bumper sticker on the back of their car.